I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and is off to a great holiday season. When someone experiences a profound loss in their life, the holidays can be absolutely tortuous. I am especially mindful of these feelings with all of the recent losses within the military community. That knock at the door can profoundly change the trajectory of one’s life plans, and dreams are gone in an instant. The ability to move forward can be blocked with immense fear and anxiety.
I know in the first few years after losing Sugar Bear I was a mess. I struggled with making the holidays festive and happy for our children (they had been through enough with losing their dad), but I could barely muster the strength to find the holiday spirit. I wondered if I would ever feel that sense of happiness much less gratitude for all that we had. It took time and the eventual realization that the very person I was mourning would want me to embrace the season, count my blessings, and find a sense of peace with his loss. So inevitably that is what I did. I began to focus on all that I had especially my time with Sugar Bear and the fruits of our marriage (our two beautiful children). I also cherished all of the people in my life like our many, many friends from the Marine Corps and military community who were by our side and are still there today. It was at that time that I made a very serious shift in my thinking and also began to focus on life, rather than loss.
Sugar Bear and I had a wonderful life together. I was able to see him achieve so many of his dreams and he died doing what he loved. In my heart, I knew he would be the first to say he had had everything and he actually always made it a point to tell me so. Over the years my level of gratitude has grown exponentially and goes beyond my children, family, and friends. The opportunity to form the foundation and continue Sugar Bear’s legacy of service has been an absolute gift! Yes, his loss has changed my life. It did not go as planned, but through the grace of God, incredible friends, and my parents, I have been able to carve out a new life - one that I know would make Sugar Bear very happy too.
This holiday season and throughout the whole year, I am so grateful for the work we are doing. First off for our incredible board and team. They are the best and I greatly appreciate their guidance, insight, time, and talents which continue to help us grow. And we are growing! We are now serving hundreds of families throughout the United States with various forms and levels of support and the number increases daily.
Our team is also growing and I am very excited to welcome our new health coach - Sarah! Sarah and I met years ago when she was working with another nonprofit and we instantly bonded. She is a perfect fit for us as she has worked within the military community and more importantly with survivors. She is also a busy mom. We are excited to not only offer her programs, but she will greatly add to our approach of serving our families in a holistic manner. Spouses can meet Sarah virtually and our other amazing coaches during our upcoming webinar this week on Thursday, November 30th.
We are also getting ready to launch a new career mentoring program for our spouses and college-age teens and have an incredible new partner. We look forward to sharing this new opportunity very soon.
For our San Diego families, we can’t wait to see you all at the RF-LAMBDA Holiday Open House on Sunday, December 10th. We are incredibly grateful for this company and their ongoing support of our educational programs and the impact they are helping us make.
Thank you to all of our sponsors as your support enables us to both sustain and grow all of our programs. As such I hope all of our friends will consider the Sugar Bear Foundation this Giving Tuesday as we focus on assisting our families find a new path after losing their service member. To gain a mere glimpse of the sacrifice they are making, I invite you to visit our Honor Wall and learn about their incredible loved ones and the commitment these heroes made to preserving our freedom.
I hope my story will serve as a reminder of all that can be and the many possibilities for our Surviving Spouses and children when there is support, continuity, and programs that can provide transition and opportunities for growth. For our spouses, please reach out if you have questions, want to register for an event, or would like to take one of our surveys as we are constantly working to provide the best means of support.
As always thank you to our friends who are helping us continue Sugar Bear’s legacy of service by giving back to the families who have given their all! Your support is needed and greatly appreciated. Happy Holidays!
Thank you,
Jennifer Carazo
President/Gold Star Wife
